Security Breach
A couple of administrative notes:
1. Thanks for all of the comments following the launch of SportDork. I plan to post all comments received, with the exception of anything profane (you know who you are). I also plan to respond to all comments. Responses will be posted on Tuesdays and Fridays, along with the new posting for that day.
2. I understand that you can actually subscribe to this blog. There's a place for it on the left hand side of the web page. I think it informs you when a new entry has been posted. Just don't be looking for a free calendar in the mail after you subscribe.
Here are a couple of fun facts about our apartment:
1. We live on the ground floor.
2. We don't have air-conditioning.
3. There are no screens on the windows.
Now, England isn't known for its blistering summers, but it does get hot enough around here so that the prospect of trying to sleep with no air conditioning and your windows closed is, to put it mildly, unappealing (Think large, sweaty man.) So, shortly after realizing that open windows were a necessity, my brain processed the three facts listed above, and the following two thoughts popped into my head:
1. Burglars
2. Bugs
Fortunately, we had one more trip left back to the U.S. before our official move in, so I sprang into action.
My first purchase:
I then threw my purchase into one of the four boxes that we shipped over:
On a side note - A couple things about the shipping "process": first, I couldn't resist using the "IN-TOWN MOVES" U-haul boxes for our move to England. There's something about moving your stuff internationally in a box that has a picture of a U-Haul truck on it that may, or may not, make it over 100 miles before crapping out that makes me chuckle. Maybe its just me. Second, while we shipped our U-Haul boxes via FedEx from the States, when they arrived they were delivered by a guy dressed in plain clothes driving a Hertz rental van. Here's a shot of the truck as he drove away:
U-Haul boxes, FedEx shipping and Hertz delivery - and we were trying to figure out why the boxes looked like someone had taken them to the eastern coast of Georgia and attempted to hurl them across the Atlantic.
Anyway, once the goods arrived, I was finally able to put my plan into action. I proudly present the latest in hi-tech British home security:
I think ADT would be proud. Allow me to provide you with a glimpse into the genius. The clamp on the left (clamp #1) is situated so that the bottom window will not open (notice the arrows - just figured out how to do that). However, the upper window must remain accessible and must be able to open in order to create air flow, thus avoiding a condition Shannon refers to as "Sticky Al." But if only clamp #1 is utilized, the upper window could be pushed all the way down, allowing a potential intruder to remove clamp #1, steal our passports, assume our identities, and ultimately implicate us - in a case of mistaken identity - in a plot to kill the leader of an obscure third world country. Enter the second clamp (clamp #2 - also with arrows). Clamp #2 is strategically placed on the upper window, just below the midpoint of the window, allowing the upper window to be opened, but not so far that one would be able to access clamp #1 - or for that matter, either clamp #1 or #2. The result: Sufficient airflow to avoid Sticky Al and sufficient security to avoid sleepless nights from excessive paranoia over the likelihood of a burglary resulting from unsecure windows.
So you got the burglars taken care of, but what about the bugs, you ask?
Well, I think it's fair to say that the bugs are a work in progress. I take some comfort in the fact that since only our upper windows are open, if they are coming from the ground, they have to crawl further to get in. I know - not much, but it's all I've got right now. I think the picture below sufficiently demonstrates that we still have some work to do. What is it? Oh, just a picture of the spot on my thigh where I got bit by a spider during our first trip over here. I've been told there are no poisonous spiders in England, but after two rounds of antibiotics (one round of Keflex and a follow up round of Amoxicillin) over 20 days, I have my suspicions. Here it is about a month later - AFTER the antibiotics:
Hope I didn't catch you before a meal!!!!
By the way - is it just me, or is there something seriously wrong with my follicles?? Not to worry. I hear they have great medical treatment over here.
See you Tuesday for the much aniticpated release of the SportDork theme song.
1. Thanks for all of the comments following the launch of SportDork. I plan to post all comments received, with the exception of anything profane (you know who you are). I also plan to respond to all comments. Responses will be posted on Tuesdays and Fridays, along with the new posting for that day.
2. I understand that you can actually subscribe to this blog. There's a place for it on the left hand side of the web page. I think it informs you when a new entry has been posted. Just don't be looking for a free calendar in the mail after you subscribe.
Here are a couple of fun facts about our apartment:
1. We live on the ground floor.
2. We don't have air-conditioning.
3. There are no screens on the windows.
Now, England isn't known for its blistering summers, but it does get hot enough around here so that the prospect of trying to sleep with no air conditioning and your windows closed is, to put it mildly, unappealing (Think large, sweaty man.) So, shortly after realizing that open windows were a necessity, my brain processed the three facts listed above, and the following two thoughts popped into my head:
1. Burglars
2. Bugs
Fortunately, we had one more trip left back to the U.S. before our official move in, so I sprang into action.
My first purchase:
I then threw my purchase into one of the four boxes that we shipped over:
On a side note - A couple things about the shipping "process": first, I couldn't resist using the "IN-TOWN MOVES" U-haul boxes for our move to England. There's something about moving your stuff internationally in a box that has a picture of a U-Haul truck on it that may, or may not, make it over 100 miles before crapping out that makes me chuckle. Maybe its just me. Second, while we shipped our U-Haul boxes via FedEx from the States, when they arrived they were delivered by a guy dressed in plain clothes driving a Hertz rental van. Here's a shot of the truck as he drove away:
U-Haul boxes, FedEx shipping and Hertz delivery - and we were trying to figure out why the boxes looked like someone had taken them to the eastern coast of Georgia and attempted to hurl them across the Atlantic.
Anyway, once the goods arrived, I was finally able to put my plan into action. I proudly present the latest in hi-tech British home security:
I think ADT would be proud. Allow me to provide you with a glimpse into the genius. The clamp on the left (clamp #1) is situated so that the bottom window will not open (notice the arrows - just figured out how to do that). However, the upper window must remain accessible and must be able to open in order to create air flow, thus avoiding a condition Shannon refers to as "Sticky Al." But if only clamp #1 is utilized, the upper window could be pushed all the way down, allowing a potential intruder to remove clamp #1, steal our passports, assume our identities, and ultimately implicate us - in a case of mistaken identity - in a plot to kill the leader of an obscure third world country. Enter the second clamp (clamp #2 - also with arrows). Clamp #2 is strategically placed on the upper window, just below the midpoint of the window, allowing the upper window to be opened, but not so far that one would be able to access clamp #1 - or for that matter, either clamp #1 or #2. The result: Sufficient airflow to avoid Sticky Al and sufficient security to avoid sleepless nights from excessive paranoia over the likelihood of a burglary resulting from unsecure windows.
So you got the burglars taken care of, but what about the bugs, you ask?
Well, I think it's fair to say that the bugs are a work in progress. I take some comfort in the fact that since only our upper windows are open, if they are coming from the ground, they have to crawl further to get in. I know - not much, but it's all I've got right now. I think the picture below sufficiently demonstrates that we still have some work to do. What is it? Oh, just a picture of the spot on my thigh where I got bit by a spider during our first trip over here. I've been told there are no poisonous spiders in England, but after two rounds of antibiotics (one round of Keflex and a follow up round of Amoxicillin) over 20 days, I have my suspicions. Here it is about a month later - AFTER the antibiotics:
Hope I didn't catch you before a meal!!!!
By the way - is it just me, or is there something seriously wrong with my follicles?? Not to worry. I hear they have great medical treatment over here.
See you Tuesday for the much aniticpated release of the SportDork theme song.
That is so hot. Kiss me.
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That's what I'm talkin' about! Looks like the SportDork has his first groupie. I knew that picture of my leg was going to do it for the ladies out there. Rest assured, ladies - there's more where that came from. Maybe a monthly SportDork body part posting? You know you want it.
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You are so challenged, but definitely entertaining. Thanks for the early morning laughs.
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I am not going to over analyze the "You are so challenged" part. I'm taking it as a positive. As emphasized in my reply to the previous comment, the SprortDork is here to please.
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You are one paranoid individual. Please tell me you also bought a fan together with your new security system.
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Thank you. I wear my paranoia proudly - although I prefer to think of it as "highly safety conscious."
Actually, all the credit goes to my Dad. He's the real hero.
I didn't think anyone would ever ask about the fan. Here's a picture of our plastic-bladed fan:
I give it about a month before it craps out.
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You can always count on the Jealous workaholic to mention the unmentionable. I am probably the only replier that is online the same time as you. I must arrive at work at the same time you wake up. B*stard!
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Perfect evidence as to why your screen name is perfect.
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Please assure us that before you considered reducing the risk of personal injury and loss of property, you solved any problems related to the following much more important matters -- actually, we'd prefer to be informed that these were resolved before any job was actually accepted or even applied for:
1.) Watching live broadcasts of all Gator games; and
2.) The impact of the difference in time zones on your ability to enjoy a cold one (or more likely: cold ones) while Percy Harvin and Tim Tebow go bonkers ALL SEASON LONG.
That is all.
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Ladies and gentlemen - we have a celebrity in our midst. Please welcome Mr. Corey Brewer to SportDork! Mr. Brewer - I can only say what an honor it is to have you post a comment on SportDork.com. First, let me say congratulations on being selected by the Minnesota Timberwolves with the 7th pick in the NBA draft. What an accomplishment! We at SportDork are honored that you found the time in your busy schedule to post a comment. Please send our best wishes to Joakim and Al the next time you talk to them. We'd love to have you guys on for a webcast sometime.
Great question. Corey, I can assure you that the issues you raise were not only the first issues considered, but that they were given great consideration before making the move. At the end of the day, when the ability to view every Gator game was measured against a year of no employment, the year of no employment won. What can I say? Everyone has their price. I can only hope that this won't diminish my status as a supreme Gator fan in the eyes of the SportDork community. And while it is premature to report anything yet, the SportDork is on the verge of acquiring some technology which very well may enable me to view almost all Gator football games. Stay tuned - more details in an upcoming posting.)
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after working with you for 6 years, i really thought i knew how f'd up your mind was. but this last entry really has me concerned...
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This is exactly why you don't let co-workers get a hold of your blog.
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Ok, this is what happens when you send a Floridian to live anywhere central air isn't standard. Quick suggestions/questions for the Ghetto Bob Villa:
1) Metal clamps? Could you have picked anything more hideous to do the chore? The fact Shannon let you put those things on your window is great insight into the success of your marriage.
2) Why not just go buy a window AC unit and hole up in your bedroom?
3) You have plenty of free time, why not go by screens or build your own? There are directions on the internet for how to build your own bomb, must be some on how to build make shift screens.
4) Skip all the above and just live at the pub!
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I spent some time trying to figure out where to start with this one, and decided the only thing to do is respond in order of the comments received.
1) Metal clamps? Could you have picked anything more hideous to do the chore? The fact Shannon let you put those things on your window is great insight into the success of your marriage.
You know you love the clamps. Jealousy is not becoming.
2) Why not just go buy a window AC unit and hole up in your bedroom?
That's cute. Maybe you missed the first posting, but we're not living in the U.S. anymore. Hold on - I'll be back in a minute - running down the street to the local Ace Hardware to pick one up. If I'm not back in a half an hour, it's because they had me committed when I asked them where they keep the "window AC units."
3) You have plenty of free time, why not go by screens or build your own? There are directions on the internet for how to build your own bomb, must be some on how to build make shift screens.
Trust me - I considered it. Never got through the Mrs. SportDork approval phase. I, too, was surprised that the clamps did. I think she finds safety hot.
4) Skip all the above and just live at the pub!
That's where you'll be staying when you visit.
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