There comes a time when every well-respected, world-wide publication must acknowledge that it has failed in its duty to provide its readers with error-free content.  While SportDork.com is neither well-respected nor world-wide, I feel compelled to begin today's entry with an apology to the SportDork Nation for an error in last Friday's entry.  Actually, I don't really "feel compelled" to address the error as much as I kind of have to, since one of my faithful readers brought it to my attention over the weekend and this seems like the best way to "head it off at the pass" before it is discovered by anyone else.  (Hmmm.  How very Michael Vick-esh of me.) 

So, what egregious error was committed by The SportDork?  Well, last week when I wrote "A decisive victory for Liverpool, and a birth in the European Cup," I did not in any way intend to mislead SportDork readers into thinking that by beating Toulouse, the entire Liverpool Football Club had emerged from a giant soccer reproductive system and been spit out into the European Cup.  That would just be weird - and gross.  No, my intent was to convey that the Liverpool Football Club had earned a berth, or a place, as it were, in the European Cup.  They do things a little differently over here, but not that differently.  I can only imagine the number of sleepless nights that my readers endured as a result of this grammatical oversight, and would like to offer my sincerest apologies to any readers who were led astray by my remarks.  I consider myself somewhat of a grammarian - someone who launches into a diatribe about the quality of our school systems every time I get an e-mail using "their" and "there" improperly - so this one cuts deep.  I give you my word that I will do my best to ensure that this will not happen again.  I only hope that you can forgive me.  Let the healing begin.

While I am on the subject of last week's entries, it is only fair that I also point out another quote, but this time one for which I am very happy to take ownership.  On Tuesday, I announced to the SportDork readers that "LSU is going to lay a smack down on Tech next weekend," which was followed on Saturday night by a 48 - 7 LSU victory.  Now, you could have gone to a lot of websites to get LSU victory predictions, but how many would have given you "smack down" predictions?  Not Brent Cheeseburger, who, mid-way through the second quarter, with the game already decided, informed viewers that he never would have expected a blowout.  I'll stop there, before I throw my shoulder out trying to pat myself on the back.  Just remember - you'd have to pay good money for that kind of prognosticating prowess on other sites, but on SportDork.com, it's free - because I love you.

Look at that!  I successfully transitioned to college football.  I would say that it's amazing how that happened, but it seems to happen quite frequently around SportDork Headquarters.  I've already mentioned Michael Vick in this week's entry, and I'm all about a good theme, so here's something I had to post given the results of the Georgia - South Carolina game this weekend.

Sources close to the case have disclosed that South
Carolina coach Steve Spurrier is being linked directly
to the Michael Vick animal abuse case.

Citing unnamed sources in Athens, Georgia, authorities
in Jacksonville, Florida allege that Spurrier engaged
in a pattern of ruthless dog beatings in and around
the Gator Bowl and Alltel Stadium over an 11 year
period.

Spurrier has declined comment on the allegations.

Looks like "The Evil Genius" is still at it.  Did you see that roughly 50% of the Georgia fans polled in a recent survey said that Spurrier is their most hated SEC coach?  That's passion, folks.  I do feel obligated to apologize to my brother-in-law for including this in today's entry, as I know that he has been working through both Georgia's loss this weekend and what to get my sister for her birthday (Happy Birthday, Jules!!).  He's actually the one who sent this to me, though, so I am able to post it with a clear conscience.  And, in an attempt to break him out of any post-loss funk he may be experiencing, The SportDork is proud to announce the kick-off of "The Earl Bennett Watch."  Earl is a junior wide-receiver at Vanderbilt (my brother-in-law's other alum) who is on pace to break SEC records in career total receptions and career total yardage.  He currently has 178 career catches, just thirty shy of the SEC record of 208, and has 2,297 yards, 796 short of the SEC record of 3,093.  Here is a link to all things Earl Bennett:  http://www.vanderbilt.edu/commodores/earl-on-the-field.html
I like the music.  It's catchy.  Go Earl!!!

Now let's talk skin infections (great segue, eh?)  As you may or may not recall from the "Security Breach" entry of about a month ago, The SportDork posted a picture of an alleged spider bite suffered after first arriving to the fine country of England.  You can imagine my surprise when a second infected "bite" popped up a few days ago, even though, as with the first one, I had no recollection of ever being bitten by anything.  At Mrs. SportDork's urging, I made my first doctor's appointment in our new country, ready to embark on a journey through the joy of national health care.  I don't think Mrs. SportDork's motives were completely altruistic - I'm pretty sure she just wanted me to be the guinea pig - but she got me to go, so she gets the credit.  I was able to get in to see a doctor very quickly - the same day I called, so things were off to a good start.  After walking to the doctor's office (American walking distance, not English), I waited about ten minutes in the waiting area, where I couldn't help but notice the informative colorectal poster with pictures of six different cartoon-drawn behinds that read, "Bleeding from the bottom is a common complaint, but it shouldn't be ignored."  Is it?  Really?  How common?  Because I know I would find it fairly difficult to ignore - but maybe that's just me.  So, after spending way too much time thinking about colorectal issues and sizing up the other patients, I was greeted by - get this - the doctor himself!  No surly assistant or technician who takes you down the hall, gets your weight with a razor sharp accuracy that is sure to reflect your actual weight within no more than a 20 pound range, and leads you to the exam room, where you sit and listen to the other exam room doors open and close for twenty minutes, hoping every time you hear one close you are about to hear yours open.  No, just the doctor standing in the middle of the waiting room, calling "Dork.  Mr. SportDork." (like any great actor, I live in character.) 

The doctor examined my new "bite" and quickly drew a parallel between my first and second occurrence.  Guess what?  I owe the good people of England, and their spiders, an apology (I'm getting them all out today.  Don't look for any more for a while).  It turns out that there really are no poisonous spiders in England - which is a good thing, because there are a sh*tload of spiders over here.  I mean it.  There are more spiders here than I have ever seen anywhere.  But they don't bite, and if they do, no poison, so I now feel comfortable that we can peacefully co-exist.  Ah, but I digest (that one is for Ronen).  Not only did I find out from a licensed professional in the medical industry that there is nothing to fear when it comes to spiders in England, more importantly, here's the clincher - I found out that I didn't even get bit by a spider.  This is especially comforting given the fact that I never saw a spider on my body or felt a bite.  I was beginning to think they just have some really wiley spiders over here.  No, in a shocking development, it seems that the CVS Minute Clinic in Atlanta misdiagnosed the infected area on my leg as a spider bite (I have this strange feeling that dermatological abnormalities may not be their sweet spot), when in fact - are you ready? - The SportDork has folliculitis!!! (I just like saying it - say it out loud a few times - has a real ring to it - as does the spot on my leg.)  I don't want any of my readers to over-react upon reading this news.  There is no need to send cards or flowers.  I did, however, ask the doctor if there was any chance that my folliculitis could be caused by muscle soreness in the lower back resulting from sitting at a desk in a dining chair for extended periods of time, as opposed to something more ergonomically appropriate, such as a desk chair, for instance, and he said it was possible.  (Actually, he said he had never heard of that happening, but hey - that's not a definitive 'no'.  It's possible.)  He put me on antibiotics specifically tailored for skin infections, and I was on my way, happily doing my part to contribute to the inevitable global epidemic of antibiotic-resistant bacteria that will eventually lead to our demise.  Case solved! 

If you think you are getting through this entry without a picture of my leg, you are sorely mistaken:

The Leg, Part II

The band-aid was courtesy of my new doctor.  I told him it would be a better shot for my readers with no band-aid, but he insisted. 

Did you get a look at those new flip-flops on the right, helpfully indicated below through the use of the white arrow?  Take another look:



Got those in Guernsey.  I think they may be metrosexual.

Enjoy your lunch!!