Stop The Madness
The 2007 SportDork Holiday Letter is complete! What a pain in the ass that was. I can't tell if it takes a ridiculously long time to stick both address and return address labels on seventy envelopes, tri-fold seventy letters, stuff each one into an envelope and seal the envelope or whether it just feels like it takes a ridiculously long time because it's such a mind-numbing exercise. I also inadvertently increased my workload this year by going cheap and attempting to use some envelopes we had left over from last year. After affixing the address and return address labels to the envelopes and stuffing them, I discovered when I went to seal the envelopes that the glue had worn off, so I was left to either a) start over with new envelopes or b) use tape to seal the old ones. I opted for b). It's a classy look. I think maybe I'll spring for a new pack of envelopes next year. I tell you - it's a good thing I don't have a job. That would have really jammed up production of this year's letter. Fortunately, Mrs. SportDork and I added a new member to the Holiday Letter production team this year, which really increased productivity:
Here she is announcing that the third round of edits is complete.
Once again, if you didn't get a copy of the Holiday Letter last year and would like one, just use the "Add Comment" feature at the bottom of this entry to send in your mailing address. Obviously, this is the one exception to the "all comments will be posted" rule at SportDork.com - if you send in your mailing address, I will NOT post the comment to the blog, thereby sparing you from endless amounts of junk mail that would land in your mailbox once millions of SportDork readers get a hold of your mailing address.
Now that we're officially into the month of December, I feel like it's time to bring some closure to Movember. Clearly, mustaches excite me, but it's time to let Movember 2007 go and let the anticipation begin to build for Movember 2008. Last week I threatened to begin watching t.v. with the remote in one hand and my camera in the other, and if you know anything about The SportDork, you know that my threats should not be taken lightly. While watching ESPN earlier this week, I finally got the shot I had been looking for. I felt like a cheetah who stumbles upon a rare antelope on the plains of the Serengeti. Sorry for the glare, but I had to move fast, and I didn't have time to turn the flash off . . . . . . . . . . .
I give you . . . . . . . the Wes Welker mustache.
A guy who should have had a mustache, because he was definitely 'stache-worthy, but instead went only so far as the lamb-chop sideburns, was Evel Knievel:
The legendary Daredevil died last week at the age of 69. I just never get tired of looking at the sweet outfit that he wore. In fact, I think I've already nailed down my 2008 Halloween costume. Here's a link to his Caesar's Palace jump in 1967 that put him in a coma for 29 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYGGCVE2lKY&NR=1
Speaking of comas, how about Bobby Bowden getting a one-year extension from FSU? Do you think Bobby even knows he got an extension? I was personally hoping that he would get the five-year extension that he requested, since the further he gets into senility, the better it is for the Gators. FSU just announced that Jimbo Fisher, FSU's offensive coordinator, has agreed to take over when Bowden retires. Do you think Jimbo realizes that he's going to have to pry the head coaching reigns from Bobby's cold, dead hands?
And since I've got a coma theme going, how about those BCS games? I would have rather watched Evel Knievel attempt to jump over a box of tissues in his Legend Scooter than watch those games:
Virginia Tech vs. Kansas in the Orange Bowl? No thanks. Bring on Evel with his Legend Scooter!!!
I really don't have too much to say about the BCS. Everyone knows it's a broken system that doesn't produce a true champion, which was demonstrated this year once again, so why waste too much energy on it? Am I interested in watching LSU play Ohio State? Sure. I always enjoy a Big Ten/SEC match-up. Will it tell me who the better team is? Sure. But will it tell me anything about who the best team in the country is? Absolutely not.
By the way, does anyone know who came up with the phrase that 11 - 2 LSU is "undefeated in regulation"? Whoever it is needs a raise. That has to be one of the catchiest, most meaningless phrases used to make a case for a team in the history of college football. Somebody from one of the other teams vying to get into the final game should have pointed out LSU was also winless in overtime. I had a perfect score on my GMAT exam after four questions, but that didn't seem to sway Harvard. For some reason they were only interested in the final score.
I, for one, am thrilled that Les Miles has agreed to stay on at LSU through 2012. It'll be fun to watch the program implode under his guidance. If he's as much of a wild man when it comes to recruiting as he is when it comes to going for it on fourth down, I predict NCAA probation within five years. You want hookers? Cash? Les says "Go for it!!"
So while I don't have a lot of BCS analysis for you, I do have a recommendation on how to enjoy this year's bowl season (outside of not watching any of the games, which we both know is an unrealistic option). As long as you can look at each game for what it is (essentially a randomly selected game between two teams whose outcome will tell you which team is better) and accept what it is not (part of a process that in any way provides any indication as to who the best team in the country is), then you can make it through this year's bowl season stress free. The key is to completely ignore things like the name of the bowl (for example, the "BCS Championship Game") and ignore any of the discussion from the talking heads about each team's ranking or the impact of the results of one bowl on the participants in another bowl ("What happens if LSU barely beats Ohio State but Georgia beats Hawaii 57 - 0 and Virginia Tech pummels Kansas 72 - 7?). Focus only on enjoying the game itself. During the game, forget about how the teams got there or why they got there or whether they should even be there. Tune out all the noise, and just enjoy the game. After the game, forget about the various "national ranking" implications that winning the game had on the winning team and losing had on the losing team, and focus on the fact that the only thing you just learned was that the winning team was better than the losing team on that day. Strip away the bullshit that is the BCS, and just enjoy the games for what they are - great competition between college athletes that indicates only that one team is better than another on that given day. It's all we have left to enjoy, and in a way, it's the part we were supposed to be enjoying to begin with, before we got caught up bitching about a system that we all know doesn't work.
Who am I kidding? I've got to at least bitch a little about the BCS!! I promise I will keep it brief by limiting it to one, and only one complaint. Here it is: since when did we start penalizing teams for going to their conference championship game and losing, and reward teams for failing to even make it to their conference championship game? This year provides two perfect examples. Missouri beats Kansas to go to the Big 12 Championship game. Missouri plays Oklahoma in the Championship game and loses. As the winner of the Big 12, Oklahoma goes to the Fiesta Bowl. The Orange Bowl, one of the other five BCS bowls, then selects Kansas for its bowl - over Missouri. Am I missing something here? Did Missouri not just beat Kansas two weeks earlier? Did the two teams not have the same record (11 - 1) before the Big 12 Championship Game? Is Missouri not ranked above Kansas? Apparently, if Kansas had beaten Missouri two weeks ago and then they had lost to Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship Game, Missouri would be the ones going to the Orange Bowl right now. So if I've got this right, the moral of the story is, if you are going to your conference championship game, you better win it, because if you don't, someone who you already beat in order to get to the conference championship game will be taking your place in a BCS bowl. Talk about punishing success.
The other example, while not quite as strong, is the SEC Championship Game. Tennessee beats (to put it mildly) Georgia during the season, which lands them in the SEC Championship Game against LSU (UT owned the tie-breaker over UGA by virtue of having beaten UGA during the season). LSU beats Tennessee, and goes off to play Ohio State. The Sugar Bowl then turns around and selects Georgia to play Hawaii instead of Tennessee. Again, what would have happened if Georgia had played LSU in the SEC Championship Game and lost? Would the Sugar Bowl have selected Tennessee? What exactly is the benefit of going to your Conference Championship Game and losing, if it means that a team that you beat earlier in the year to get to the championship game is going to take your spot in a BCS bowl? Granted, this one is a little stickier than the Missouri-Kansas debacle because before the SEC Championship Game, Georgia had two losses and Tennessee had three losses (one out of conference to California), but it still holds water. I guess Georgia should be happy they lost to Tennessee and avoided the SEC Championship Game, because as far as I can tell, if they had gone and lost, they wouldn't be in the Sugar Bowl right now.
I don't have the answer. Well, come to think of it, I do. It's called a playoff, but apparently that's too obvious, since ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit, CNN-SI's Stuart Mandel and others now refuse to even entertain the notion because it's too 'unrealistic.' All I know is that when you are in a better position for a BCS bowl game by missing your own conference's championship game than by going to the game and losing, there's a problem.
If you caught the LSU-Tennessee SEC Championship Game on t.v., you got a chance to hear some of the most brutal announcing in the history of college football, courtesy of CBS's Gary Danielson. Gary made Verne Lundquist look like he should win Broadcaster Of The Year. At one point, Gary announced that he's only been watching and commentating Tennessee games for a few years. He then added, "you know, an FSU here, a Miami there." I found this comment puzzling, since a) Tennessee doesn't play Miami or FSU, and b) neither Miami nor FSU is in the same conference as Tennessee. How is that Gary Danielson isn't aware of either of these facts? I don't ask for much from my announcers, but it would at least be nice if they knew who the teams on the field typically play during the course of the season.
Gary's grouping of Tennessee, Miami and FSU was only outdone when, as LSU lined up to punt, Gary announced that "By alignment, Tennessee must show LSU that 'If you fake it, we'll be ready,' and they did do that." The only problem was that as Gary was explaining that Tennessee had made it clear to LSU that they were ready for a fake punt, the LSU punter proceeded to fake the punt and throw a pass, successfully converting the fake punt for a first down. Gary successfully eclipsed levels of wrongitude that have never before been heard in the broadcasting booth, and for that he should be commended. He is clearly a genius if he is able to make those kinds of comments and still have a job with CBS. Either that or he's got some great pictures of somebody at CBS doing something they shouldn't be doing with someone they shouldn't be doing it with.
I could just be upset because during the SEC Championship Game, Gary and Verne announced their SEC Lund-Sons awards, which are apparently the culmination of these two putting their collective genius together and coming up with the three best moments in the SEC this year. Get it? Lund-Sons? Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson? Those guys. What a bunch of jokesters. I love 'em. Anyway, here were the three winners:
1. Best Moment - LSU converts two fourth down conversions on their last drive to beat Florida.
2. Best Move - Georgia storms field versus Florida.
3. Best Kick - Wes Byrum kicks field goal for Auburn to beat Florida.
Anybody notice a theme? The three best moments are from Florida's only three losses this year? They're lucky the Gators didn't have five losses - they would have had to create additional categories. If Tebow loses the Heisman on Saturday, that'll probably be their college football Moment of the Year.
Alright - enough negativity for one entry. Let's talk about The SportDork's NFL Pick Of The Week. I recently realized that this segment started off as The SportDork's PickS Of The Week, but has turned into just one pick, because every time I get to it, the entry is already way too long, so I'm left to go with a single pick or risk further outcry from my readers who can only handle a couple pages of text a week. Not that there's anything wrong with that. If you're one of those readers, I appreciate your readership and thank you for your patronage.
The SportDork has been on a real tear lately with The NFL Pick Of The Week. I think I'm 2 - 0 over the last two weeks. For The SportDork, that's a real tear. Now the pressure's on. Where will I turn? Are you ready?
New Orleans - 4.5 @ Atlanta: When the pressure's on, there's only one place to turn, and that's a team that reeks of desperation. As I just told my Dad, the important thing to understand about the Saints is that they only win when they ABSOLUTELY have to. Last week's game against Tampa Bay might have seemed like a must win for the Saints, but for the Saints a game is only a must win if losing the game will almost certainly eliminate them from playoff contention. If losing the game means that they will have to win the next three or four in a row to make the playoffs, that's not a must-win. A must-win is for the Saints is only complete and total desperation, which is where they find themselves this week against the Falcons, which is why The SportDork's NFL Pick Of The Week is New Orleans - 4.5 @ Atlanta!!!!!!! Plus, I doubt they'll be trying any more toss-reverses with Reggie Bush when they're up by three late in the game. Nice call.
ADMINISTRATIVE NOTE: As of yesterday, which is when my Dad read last week's entry, you will not be seeing any more pictures of him passed out on the couch. Suffice it to say that I recently learned that it is best not to take a picture of your Dad asleep on the couch without his permission. It's a good thing we're heading back to England tonight.
the "undefeated in the regulation" thing was invented by USC in '03. they lost to Cal in 3OTs and were left out of the champ game (LSU - OU).
you probably knew that, but had to dork it up...
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I did not know that. Thank you for bringing new levels of dorkitude to SportDork.com. I should have known it was a west-coast thing. : ))
I wish I was smart enough to come up with something that catchy that people all over the country would repeat even though it it's totally irrelevant to the argument they're trying to make. I'm going to work on it.
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you're quite the Les-hater. not me. he had me at "go-for-it-5x-on-4th-down." balls over brains, sez I! (see "Carr, Lloyd" for comparison)
in the history of LSU football, do you know the only coach to beat UF, Bama and Auburn in the same year? yup. and he's done it twice. (you know who else did it this year? )
--R
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No hatred. I'm from Atlanta - the city too busy to hate. That's another one of those phrases that sounds good but makes absolutely no sense. And that's an actual slogan from Atlanta. Has to be one of the best ever. Do you need to have downtime to hate? Do you need a bunch of free time so you can build up your hatred?
I'm excited about the contract extension because I want to see what Les does with all of his own players. I think LSU was supremely talented this year and should not only have gone undefeated, but shouldn't have needed multiple overtimes and last second scores to win the games that it did. It's hard to say that a team that is going to play in the last game of the year underachieved, but that's exactly how I feel about LSU this year. I think they could have been sitting at #1 in the country right now with a lot less drama.
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re: UT got hosed
this exact scenario happened last year, when Arkansas lost the SEC champ game and LSU went to the Sugar Bowl.
the Sugar chooses the SEC's next best team; UT simply isn't. not even Vols fans would argue this (I work with many). Last year's 2: clearly LSU. this year: clearly UGa. your dad said the same thing you did(I guess you all talked about it), but sending 4-loss UT over the "hottest team in the country, baby!!" would be stupid. it doesn't even come close to hitting my BCS-is-a-failure radar. the REAL failure is the fact that the Sugar bowl matchup isn't UGa - Oklahoma.
the Mizzou - KU decision is wrong.
don't worry. once Stafford graduates, Florida will be back in the BCS conversation.....
wow--3 comments. must be a slow day.
xxoo,
R
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You are to be commended for your ability to refer toGeorgia
You are also to be commended for attempting to break my zen-like state with respect to the BCS. You almost drew me back in. I had a long-winded diatribe all ready to go, and then I caught myself and returned to my happy place. In case you're wondering, that's a mental image of Tim Tebow and me taking a long walk on the beach.
Ok - I can't help myself. The Arkansas-LSU situation last year was not, as you claim, the "exact" scenario as this year with UT and UGA. Yes, LSU went to the Sugar Bowl even though
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as the "comment of the week winner" for the 2nd time, do i get a Sportdork tshirt?
love Tebowisms. we should memorize them in preparation for his impending rule. ("impending"? who am i kidding? 2007 AD is done. it's already 1 AT. Anno Tebowi.)
and now that i hooked you on the UGa comment, i have to follow up:
i agree that the situation last year is certainly not "exact". my bad. i'd forgotten the details.
you think that UT got punished by winning the SEC East and getting to the conference champ game. let's pretend that UT lost and let UGa into the SEC champ game. let's further say the UGa lost to LSU. who then to the Sugar? in this scenario, UT would be out with 4 losses, as would Auburn. the 3-loss teams left would be UGa and UF. well, UGa stomped UF and they both have 3 total losses. UGa goes to the Sugar.
so, UGa goes to the Sugar Bowl either way. nobody got "punished" by getting to the SEC championship game. UT's problem (from a Sugar Bowl perspective) is they lost to Cal.
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Yes, you will get a t-shirt. Anything to keep you from wearing that "Mind The Gap" t-shirt again.
1 AT - I love it. You were the front runner for Comment Of The Week honors, and then Sean got belligerent, and your wife brought up 'staches, and just like that the honors were snatched away from you. That would have made it three straight weeks. I think there might be a rule against that.
As for the conference championship/BCS issue, let me see if I can make my point by approaching the issue from the standpoint of incentives instead of punishment. As you said in your comment, "UGA goes to the Sugar Bowl either way." ("either way" meaning whether they go to the SEC Championship Game or not). If they go to the Sugar Bowl either way, and the Sugar Bowl represents a reward for teams, then making your own conference championship game becomes completely irrelevant for purposes of getting to a BCS Bowl, and that's what I have a problem with. UT's chances of going to a BCS bowl decreased by losing the SEC Championship game, while UGA's chances of going to a BCS bowl were either completely un-impacted or actually increased by virtue of them failing to make their own conference championship game. The fact that they would have gone to the Sugar Bowl regardless of whether they went to their own conference championship game is the problem. I just don't think it puts the proper incentives in place for a team to make it to their conference championship, since they end up in the same position whether they a) go and lose or b) don't go at all.
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let me clarify: UGa goes to the Sugar Bowl either way if UT loses a 4th game. UT wins and UGa's out.
you're not taking into account UT's upside, UT's reward: if they beat LSU, then they salvage their season and go to the bowl. THAT's the reward. if UT beats LSU then UGA doesn't go to a BCS bowl. UT earned the SEC championship game and the possibility to make a BCS game with a win.
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I believe the original issue we were addressing is this - which is better - a) going to your conference championship game and LOSING or b) coming in second in your division and missing your own conference championship game. In my opinion, it is better to go to your own conference championship game and lose than to not even make it to the game. Sending UGA to the Sugar Bowl instead of UT contradicts that notion. Sending UGA to the Sugar Bowl tells us that going to your conference championship game and losing is no better (or even worse) than coming in second in your division and failing to make your conference championship game.
One note - I don't have a pony in this race (there is no aspect of my argument that ends with the idea that UF should be going to any BCS bowl). In fact, I like UGA a lot more than UT. I just think sending UGA to the Sugar Bowl over UT sends the wrong message and diminishes the importance of making your own conference championship game.
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this dog needs to die.
but, the only issue at stake is that UT lost to Cal and UGa didn't lose to OK St.
the conference record doesn't factor in the bowl selection.
that being said:
merry tebow and a happy tebow year.
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At least we finally found something that we totally agree on. Like you said, "the conference record doesn't factor in the bowl selection." I couldn't agree more with that assessment. I guess where we differ is that I find the idea that conference record doesn't factor in the bowl selection to be totally ridiculous. Apparently though, I'm the one in the minority and you're in the majority, since Kansas and UGA are playing in BCS bowls and Missouri and UT are not.
Merry New Year!!!
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say, I note that only teams who do NOT make it into a BCS game belly ache about the BCS. What is Florida in this year, the App State bowl?
Nice title defense by the way. You'd think a team with somebody as accomplished, graceful & potent as Tebow would at least be able to win half a freaking conference, much less defend their title.
Oh well, maybe next year.
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First, let me say that I am impressed that you found time in your busy entrepreneurship lifestyle to take time out of your day and submit a comment to SportDork.com. That's commitment. I doubt Bobby Petrino would have done the same if he'd been in your position (see today's entry). However, effort's not everything. Logic and reasoning also count for something here at SportDork.com, and your entry went one for three. (We like to see logic and reasoning in the comments - it compensates for the absence of those characteristics in the entries themselves.)
We all know it's tough to be really good, but it's also tough to be really bad. I'm into rewarding extremes, which is why your comment has been selected as the Co-Comment Of The Week!!!! (My sister talked about 'staches. There's was no denying her the honor as well.)
Now let's get to the comments that put you in the "winner's" circle:
You are to be commended for your ability to throw stones while your team, USC, which I heard in September was the greatest team in the history of the universe, couldn't even pull it together enough to make Les Miles eat his pre-season words by making it to the "title" game against LSU.
"say, I note that only teams who do NOT make it into a BCS game belly ache about the BCS."
I would imagine that's because typically, people who benefit from a faulty system aren't the first in line to bitch about the system. How many times have you seen a team that benefited from a bad call on the field complain to the refs that it was a bad call? I'm no psychologist, but I think it's some kind of human nature thing. I don't remember G-Dub complaining about vote counting procedures after he beat Gore, do you?
"What isFlorida in this year, the
I like that. What are they calling yours - the "We lost to Stanford, but the Pac-10 is so weak we still managed to make it to the Rose Bowl" Bowl?
"Nice title defense by the way. You'd think a team with somebody as accomplished, graceful & potent as Tebow would at least be able to win half a freaking conference, much less defend their title."
Have you been talking to my Dad? He's spent the entire year bemoaning the lack of talent around Tebow. By the way, you've made the same mistake I did - assuming there is some relationship between winning half your conference and getting to a BCS bowl. Just askMissouri and Tennessee
"Oh well, maybe next year.
"
You too. I just hope we aren't ranked #1 in the pre-season and hailed as the greatest college team to ever set foot on a football field and then we go out and lose to Ole Miss. : )
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