Sunday night was difficult.  But for The SportDork, every Super Bowl Sunday is.  On one hand, the grandest spectacle in all of sports is a time for celebration at SportDork Headquarters.  It represents the culmination of another year of professional football, with the two best teams in the league lining up for one final battle.  On the other hand, it's a time of great sadness, because every minute that ticks off the game clock during the Super Bowl is a reminder that I'm one minute closer to the beginning of a long, cold spring and summer without football (which may also be the reason why it's a time of celebration for Mrs. SportDork).  This year, I had no idea just how difficult it would be.

When I woke up Sunday morning, I didn't know what I was going to do for this week's entry.  On the last weekend of the season, what could I do to honor the majesty that is the NFL season?  Lucky for you, by the end of the day, I had my answer.  What better way to cap off the season than by letting the SportDork Nation get a behind-the-scenes look at how The SportDork celebrates Super Sunday?  It was the right thing to do.  I owed it to my legions of fans. 

So, get ready to go on an all-access, chronological tour of The SportDork's Super Sunday!!

Before we get to Super Sunday, it's important to understand that the festivities began Saturday night.  Mrs. SportDork and I kicked off the evening by enjoying some home-made onion rings:

I pretty much ate them as they emerged from the oil, so the plate never got very full.

I also enjoyed a fine British ale:

The things dangling from the beer are ear-phones.  I forgot to put the beer in the fridge, so I wrapped it in a champagne cooler.  The champagne cooler was too big, so I used a pair of ear-buds to tie the cooler to the beer.  If you want it bad enough, you find a way.

Beer and onion rings were followed by a viewing of one of the modern day cinematic classics:

After beer, home-made onion rings, and Nacho Libre, we were officially ready for Super Sunday.  I think it's fair to say we've brought an element of class with us to England. 

Sunday

10:00 AM - Mrs. SportDork wakes me up.  I try not to breathe on her.

10:10 AM - Mrs. SportDork tries on outfits she bought on Saturday while I lay in bed comatose.  I grunt approvingly as she tries on each one.

10:20 AM - Get out of bed.

10:22 AM - Brush my teeth.  Think about Tom Brady's ankle.

10:27 AM - Sit down at computer while Mrs. SportDork does yoga video.  Make lewd comments as she performs yoga moves.  Check CNNSI.com for any recent Super Bowl news.  Nobody shot anybody last night, so I still have to find something to write about.  Read about how Ryan Seacrest is going to be interviewing celebrities as they arrive at the Super Bowl, which would definitely give me something to write about, but we won't get that coverage over here.  Thank God for small favors.  Check Gatorsports.com.  Discover that the Gators got trounced by Arkansas last night, so there goes my idea of taking up half of today's entry on a rant about the improbable success of the Gator basketball team this year.  Check Van Halen website.  Make sure that Eddie and Dave are still speaking on their current tour.  They are, and the tour hasn't been cancelled yet, so I'm not screwed when we fly home this weekend to see them in concert. 

10:55 AM - Mentally prepare for weekly grocery shopping trip to Tesco.  Put on same thing I wore yesterday.  Assemble critical items:

Bags and List.  I'm ready.

10:57 AM - Take down a delicious 6 ounce container of Danon Activia yogurt for breakfast.  Both satisfying AND filling.

11:10 AM - Arrive at Tesco.  Once again, marvel at their use of the term "Open 24 Hours."  Here's what I'm talking about:

Ok - maybe we're not open for ALL 24 hours, but we're open for most of 'em!

11:20 - 11:40 AM:  Try and avoid couple with small child who is slinging snot.

11:45 AM - Search for paper napkins.  The Super Bowl buzz is unmistakable:

The woman on the right told me she'd break my legs if I took the last bag of chips.  You can see her getting her ring properly positioned for a good shot.
 
11:50 AM - Stop searching for napkins.  A grocery store the size of a developing country doesn't carry paper napkins.  They are morally opposed to anything disposable over here.  No Zip-Locs, no Solo cups, no disposable napkins.  I'm surprised they sell disposable toilet paper.

12:00 PM - Leave Tesco.  Mrs. SportDork makes fun of me for documenting the time in my notebook while sitting in the Tesco parking lot.  I tell her the SportDork nation expects accuracy.  No, they demand it.

12:16 PM - Back from Tesco.  I remember to take a Prilosec, averting potential gastro-intestinal disaster later in the day.

12:50 PM - Realizing that there's way too much time before the game starts (almost eleven hours), we go to the movies.  We see "Dan In Real Life."  Nothing like a touching drama to get you fired up for the big game.

3:30 PM - Begin Margarita preparation.

3:40 PM - Margaritas complete.

4:00 PM - Mrs. SportDork begins salsa prep. 

4:20 PM - Salsa completed. 

4:30 PM - The SportDork begins guacamole prep - and begins enjoying margarita # 2.

5:30 PM - Guacamole prep completed.  I take a little longer than Mrs. SportDork.  I swear it has nothing to do with the two margaritas.  I'm just a very deliberate chopper.

5:35 PM - Commence eating salsa and guacamole.  Commence drinking margarita # 3.

6:00 - 7:00 PM - Call to the Senior SportDorks in South Florida (or as my mom likes to call it, "God's waiting room").  Engage in in-depth analysis of upcoming game.  Express bewilderment over the fact that NFL coaches are so stupid and we are so brilliant.

7:00 PM - Try to forget about the fact that my dad just told me he's going to attempt to replace the radiator in his Honda by himself.  Do this by enjoying margarita # 4.

7:05 PM - Final check of CNNSI.com for material.  Nothing.  Bastards.  Mrs. SportDork captures the moment:

7:30 PM - Fish Tacos ready for consumption.  Great cod in the UK.

8:00 PM - Pregame starts on SkySports.  I'm four margaritas in, so I'm not sure I'll make it to kick-off.  They get some really high profile guys in the studio for a big game like this.  Here's a great example:

Jeff Reinebold, SMU Special Teams Coach.  When you're broadcasting the Super Bowl, you bring in the big names.  Big names for the big games.  And Jeff only works the big games.  If you haven't heard of Jeff, you've been living in a hole somewhere.

9:00 PM - The anchor of the pre-game show just announced that the Patriots will be going for their 7th Super Bowl in 4 years.  Now THAT would be impressive. 

10:05 PM - Alicia Keys performs.  Is there a game on later?  I couldn't care less.

10:20 PM - Tom Brady begins warming up, and SkySports provides us with critical information about Tom that is completely relevant:

I guess that's better than if it read, "Ankle may be injured."

10:30 PM - SkySports announcer does a piece on SuperBowl week in Arizona.  I enjoy his choice of attire:

Black t-shirt under black striped sport coat.  Totally what I would have worn for a week in Phoenix. 

10:45 PM - Mrs. SportDork begins passing out on couch.

10:50 PM - Mrs. SportDork in bed.

Time for the game!!  Check out the sweet graphics:

11:05 PM - Teams take the field.  What's up with the whole "We run out of the tunnel as a team" thing that all the teams do now?  Newsflash to the teams:  It meant something when the Patriots did it for the first time against the Rams in the Super Bowl a few years ago.  It now means nothing.  Stop it. 

They give you the option over here of watching the game with the U.S. announcers or with U.K. announcers.  As comical as it would be to listen to the U.K. guys do the game, I can't bring myself to do it.  Plus, when I wrote about how they missed a fumble or made some other boneheaded call, you'd have no idea what I was talking about.

11:10 PM - National Anthem.  Jordin Sparks.  There's no way that girl is seventeen.  Or eighteen.  The players seem to be paying more attention than usual to the anthem.  Wonder why.

11:13 PM - I grab a tissue and wipe away the tears of patriotism.  While I'm at it, I grab my first bourbon.

11:14 PM - Jason Taylor - Man of the Year.  He should get that just for making it through the Dolphins season without killing anyone.

11:17 PM - Coin Toss - Did you see Junior Seau?  He almost took out Jerry Rice and Steve Young before the coin toss.  I think he's still bitter about the beat down the 49ers put on the Chargers in the Super Bowl back in 1995.

1st Quarter (Numbers refer to time remaining in period)

10:30 - The Patriots lose Randall Gay AND Rodney Harrison on the same play?  Not good mojo.

8:11 - Tom Petty halftime promo.  Go Gators.

If the Giants keep running like this, it's going to be the fastest Super Bowl ever.  I'm not complaining.  I've got no problem with going to bed before 3 AM.

7:15 - Manning completes ANOTHER third down pass.  He's three for three on third downs.  Unbelievable. 

7:10 - Starting to get heartburn from the fish tacos.  May have to go with a rare second Prilosec.  I remind myself that the great ones play through the pain.

7:05 - Wash down second Prilosec with second bourbon.

6:40 - Pam Oliver reports that Randall Gay's return is questionable.  Bad Mojo for the Pats.  FOX never cuts to a shot of Pam while she's giving the update.  Bad mojo for me.

6:35 - Eli makes his first bad decision of the game.  Throws into double coverage.  Should have been picked off, but isn't.  Patriots may be wishing they had that one back.

6:12 - Lawrence Tynes field goal.  3 - 0, Giants lead.  Did you know Tynes was born in the UK?  They love talking about that over here. 

During commercial break, they're showing highlights from Super Bash Five - a huge Super Bowl party over here.  About 4,000 people.  People are already wasted.  Love the Brits.

3:40 - Troy Aikman and Joe Buck have already started talking about Brady's ankle.  I wonder if it's ok.

1:52 - Sideline report from Chris Myers about Brady's ankle.  Brady says it's fine (for the 6,000th time), but according to Chris, the Patriots are going to be "keeping an eye on it."  Thanks, Chris.  Keep up the good work.

2nd Quarter

14:57 - Patriots touchdown. 7 - 3, Patriots lead.

14:57 - Pats kicker kicks off out of bounds.  I think Belichick just sent him to the locker room for castration.

14:57 - Gratuitous celebrity shots.  Gisele, Jim Carey & Jenny McCarthy and Pam Anderson.  FOX gets an 'A' for its Super Bowl coverage so far.

14:03 - Long Manning pass to Amani "It's not a" Toomer, who I believe just celebrated his 57th birthday.  With age, however, comes wisdom.  Toomer got separation by delivering a great stiff arm to the cornerback's face right before the ball arrived.  Offensive pass interference, anyone?

11:53 - Manning interception.  Hurts me to say this, but it wasn't his fault.

[For nine minutes of play, I have nothing to say.  It's THAT uneventful.  Where are the gratuitous shots of Pam Anderson?]

2:21 - Eli fumbles again.  Giants recover - again.  How many of their own fumbles can the Giants recover?

Halftime - 7 - 3, Patriots lead. 

Another report from the UK Super Bowl Super Bash.  The Saints cheerleaders are there.  The Brits really dig the cheerleaders.  No cheerleaders at the soccer matches.  Just drunk guys. 

Halftime show.  Has to be more exciting than the first half. 

Tom Petty.  Go Gators.  He looks like he's 70.  That is one good musician with one bad beard.

Third Quarter

6:54 - Patriots have a fourth and thirteen from the Giants thirty-one yard line, and they're going for it?  Am I missing something?  They're up 7 - 3 in the middle of the third quarter, and they're passing up a 48-yard field goal attempt to go for a fourth and thirteen? 

6:43 - They didn't make it.  I'm shocked.  It was fourth and thirteen!!

4:25 - I've gotta be honest with you.  I'm losing interest in this game.  I know it's 7 - 3, but this is like watching paint dry.  I assure you it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm on bourbon # 2. 
I hope Mrs. SportDork doesn't need me to drive her to the train station tomorrow morning.

Fourth Quarter

The twelve or thirteen points is looking pretty good right now if you took the Giants.  What a stalemate.

14:52 - Long pass from Eli to some guy I've never heard of before.  Giants are threatening. 

13:40 - I just stuck my left forefinger up my nose.  Normally, that wouldn't be a very big deal, but it's the same finger I used to hold the jalapenos when I chopped them for my world famous guacamole, so my left nostril is now on fire.  Incredible how long that stuff stays on your skin.  Oh yeah - Giants are about to score.

11:05 - Touchdown Giants.  10 - 7, Giants lead.  Eli is playing like the man.  I can't believe this.  I guess the Patriots wanted it to be a dramatic victory.

5:20 - Big surprise.  New England has started finding its rhythm on offense. Inside the Giants thirty yard line.

2:42 - Touchdown Patriots.  Brady to Moss.  14 - 10, Patriots lead. 
I've gotta give the Patriots credit.  They could just come out and blow teams out in the Super Bowl, but they understand the public wants to see a good game, so they come out and d*ck around for three and a half quarters, and then put the game away at the end of the fourth.  Much more suspenseful that way.  They give the people what they want.  It's the American way.

0:39 - Ok, maybe I was wrong.  One huge circus catch over the middle, a few more completions, and the Giants are at New England's fourteen-yard line with a first and goal and no timeouts left.  Holy shit.

0:35 - Holy shit is right.  Giants touchdown.  17 - 14, Giants lead. 
Excessive shots of both Eli AND Peyton Manning.  I think I'm going to be sick, and it's not from the four margaritas, two bourbons and one Baileys.  Oh yeah - I forgot to mention the Baileys.  It was at the two-minute warning.

One question: How is Plaxico Burress single covered in the end-zone?

0:01 - Game over.  Bill Belichick just ran into the locker room.  He looks happy.
You know, I sure hope Eli credits SportDork.com for the Super Bowl win.  I'm confident if I hadn't talked so much shit about him this year, he wouldn't have developed the resilience necessary to take his team to the title.  He was the most talked about NFL player on SportDork.com this year, which obviously propelled him to the championship.  Congratulations, Eli.  And, you're welcome.

Final - Giants 17, Patriots 14

3:15 AM - Post-game interviews with Pam Oliver.  Actual video of Pam.  Now I can go to bed.

3:40 AM - Still not in bed.  I got sucked into the post-game.  Eli just won the MVP.  Peyton last year, Eli this year.  It's like a bad car wreck.  I can't look away.

3:42 AM - There is one upside to the Giants win.  Go '72 Dolphins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The SportDork's Final Assessment

The lawn maintenance guys were here at 9 AM, and the guy with the blower apparently identified a large pile of debris directly outside my bedroom window that needed his attention for about ten minutes.  Good times.  It's February in England, and there haven't been any leaves on the ground for over a month, but I appreciate his commitment.

Since most people have stopped reading by now, here are my two storylines from last night's game:

1. The Giants defensive line.  Total and complete domination.  They embarrassed the Patriots offensive line.  By the fourth quarter, Brady's head was on a swivel.  He was looking for guys coming from his own endzone after taking the snap.  Even the great ones have trouble making quick reads and good throws when they've spent the entire game running for their life.

2. The Patriots spent the latter part of the season and the playoffs playing just well enough to beat their opponents.  They identified the level of effort that would be required to win, and then they went out and applied that level of effort.  It's a dangerous pattern to get into.  They almost pulled it off again Sunday night.  With about eight minutes left in the game, they were down 10 - 7, and hadn't been able to do anything offensively since the first quarter.  No doubt that the Giants were playing great football, but the Patriots weren't exactly putting together an inspired effort.  So what did the Patriots do?  Recognizing that they only had a couple possessions left, they flipped the switch, like they did all postseason, and went eighty yards in five minutes and twelve seconds, scoring a touchdown to go up 14 - 10 with 2:42 remaining.  You could tell they thought that was it.  Game over.  They had managed to pull it together on offense for 5:12 - they had once again done just enough to win - and now it was time to collect the Lombardi Trophy.  But the Patriots learned a valuable lesson.  No matter how good you are, victory is not inevitable.  You can only get away with flipping the switch when you need to so many times before one of your opponents hangs around, reaches up, and bites you in the ass -  which is exactly what the Giants did Sunday night.