I was told by Mrs. SportDork that I screwed up the cat hostage portion of last week's entry by failing to include a picture of the front of the ransom post card.  In an attempt to rectify my failings, here is a shot of the front AND the back:

There.  I don't know about you, but I feel much better now.  Also, in case you were wondering (and I know you were), we were able to avert potential disaster and reclaim the cats without involving the authorities.  Here's a few pictures of Fernando, re-acclimating himself to his new surroundings shortly after arriving in Atlanta:

Fernando enjoying some quiet time in his hammock, and:




Fernando taking advantage of dirty shower water.  There's nothing tastier.

So, The SportDork is two weeks away from re-joining the ranks of the employed after a glorious eleven months off.  Never in my life has two weeks felt like such a short period of time.  In an ironic twist, I celebrated my ten-year anniversary with my company while I was enjoying my leave of absence in England.  My firm offers a variety of ten-year anniversary gifts, and after checking out the selection, I decided on this beauty:

The Huffy Newport Comfort Bicycle.  It came down to either this or a tent, but I thought the bike was appropriate given that ten years is the tin/aluminum anniversary.  And I suspected it would provide more entertainment value than the tent.  The Huffy Newport showed up in a box on our doorstep last August, while we were in England, and has sat untouched in our spare bedroom since then.  In honor of my impending return to work, this weekend I decided it was finally time to assemble it.  My company believes in hiring people who can overcome obstacles, so I wasn't surprised when I discovered, upon ripping open the cardboard box, that no assembly instructions had been included.  They were probably removed prior to shipping to add an element of excitement.  Fortunately, my familiarity with bicycles meant that I had a pretty good idea of where to attach the front tire, seat and handle bars.  After a few trips into the basement for all of the requisite tools, construction of the Huffy Newport was complete:

I decided to take it for a spin, so I hopped on and started down the street.  About twenty feet into my maiden voyage, I heard what sounded like a gun shot, and came to a screeching halt.  My journey was over before it began.  After coming up empty on my search for gun shot residue and bullet holes, I was able to identify the issue.  A back tire blow out:

There are three explanations for the blowout.  The first is faulty manufacturing, the second is tire over-inflation, and the third is operator weight.  I'm going with number one. 

I did notice, during my brief initial ride, that the front tire seemed awfully close to the pedals, to the point that turning in either direction would cause the front tire to hit the front of my foot on the pedal.  Here's what I'm talking about:

Also, the tire protector for the front tire seemed a little off:

After the blowout, as I gazed at the Newport, shining brilliantly in our front yard, I realized what was wrong.  The whole front axle/tire was backwards.  I was about to take off the front tire, flip it, and put it back on, when I realized I could just rotate the entire mechanism, and then rotate the handle bars back around.  Here's the Huffy Newport, properly constructed:

Much better, eh?  I'm off to the bike store to spend twenty bucks on a new back tire.  I had a feeling my ten-year anniversary gift wouldn't be free.  Hopefully the blowout isn't symbolic of my career.  I'll let you know in a few weeks.

Before I get a bunch of angry comments about this sport-less entry, I'd like to point out that cycling is a sport.  I'd also like to point out that I have nothing humorous to say about John Lester, Boston Red Sox pitcher and cancer survivor, throwing a no-hitter last night.  Great story, but I've got nothing.  And the Spurs beating the Hornets in game seven of the NBA Western Conference Semi-finals isn't a story.  If you thought for even one second that the Hornets would win that game, you should be ashamed of yourself.  Let's see - defending NBA champion loaded with veterans against a young team that's never been in a game seven before.  I wonder who's gonna come out on top?  I wish I still had my SkyBet account.  That back tire would be paid for.