Dear Mr. Woods,

So, what's next?  Obviously, winning Major championships with two good legs wasn't enough for you.  Did running away from the field on Sundays grow tiresome, so you decided to see if you could win the U.S Open on one leg?  Well, congratulations.  Eight days before the U.S. Open you played your first full round of golf since The Masters - in April.  Then you spent five days playing the U.S. Open on one good leg, and they still couldn't beat you.  All those other professional golfers, with the benefit of two healthy legs and plenty of time to practice, did everything they could to push you to the brink of defeat, but in the end, it wasn't enough.  It turns out that one leg and a putting stroke trump two legs and practice every time.  Who knew? 

I, for one, want to thank you for finding new ways to keep the PGA tour interesting.  With your recent announcement of ACL surgery, you've given a bunch of poor schmoes a fighting chance at the next three majors.  It was a kind gesture.  And when you get back, while it's still a foregone conclusion that you're going to win, after the U.S. Open, at least we know you've decided to introduce an element of mystery and intrigue surrounding how you're going to do it.  Reminds me of watching a movie and feeling confident that you know how it's going to end, but continuing to watch anyway because you can't help but wonder how it's going to get there.

In honor of your U.S. Open performance and the drama that you created by handicapping yourself against the field, I have compiled a list of tactics that you should consider employing at future major championships in order to provide the kind of excitement we witnessed during the Open.

Tactics That Tiger Can Employ To Make Future Majors More Competitive

1.   Play every other hole blindfolded.
2.   Let your caddie, Stevie Williams, hit every other shot for you.
3.   Play each round with a three wood, seven iron and a putter (the "Tin Cup" challenge).
4.   On each hole, pick a fan from the gallery and let them hit one shot.
5.   Play each hole with the flag removed from the green.
6.   Do a shot of tequila before every other tee shot (bring extra tequila if they pair you with John Daly).
7.   Play each round with your daughter, Sam Alexis, strapped to your back in one of those Baby Bjorn things.
8.   Skip all those practice rounds and go straight from the airport to the first tee on Thursday morning.
9.   Carry your own golf bag (with a twenty pound weight attached to the bottom).
10. Play each round in a leopard-print banana hammock.
11. Replace Stevie with Marissa Miller.
12. Play left-handed.
13. Take a qualude before you tee off.
14. Wear ski-boots instead of golf shoes.
15. Begin each round at 11pm.

I am confident that implementing any of these measures will result in scintillating major championship finishes.  Any one of them will probably give the rest of the field a fighting chance, which we both know they don't otherwise have.  I know - you'll still win, but at least it'll be fun to watch.

Thanks for keeping it interesting.

Yours Truly,

The SportDork