Morton's Fork
My last entry of 2009. So much pressure to make it a good one. One that closes out the year on a high note and gets The SportDork Nation excited about 2010. Speaking of pressure, now I know how Urban Meyer feels. After the Alabama loss, I almost announced that I was going to shut down this site. That's right. I was going to walk away from the blog that I love. Sounds crazy, I know, but the pressure of weekly entries had been mounting since early October, and the physical symptoms were beginning to take a toll. The hives and the weight-gain (unlike Urban, I eat more when I'm stressed) were bad enough, but at least they were manageable. It wasn't until I rubbed my right eyebrow off while trying to compose an entry in mid-December that I realized I could no longer ignore the impact of SportDork.com on my health. That was the wake-up call. It's tough to seduce your wife with one eyebrow, and it's even more demoralizing when your cats run and hide because they don't recognize you.
This is the first you're hearing about this crisis at SportDork Headquarters because, frankly, I was concerned that if I broached the subject on these pages, some of my tens of fans might flee to a competitor amidst the uncertainty, irreparably damaging SportDork readership. Like Tiger Woods, it could have taken me years to rebuild the brand.
It's true, though. I almost walked away from what I love to do because of the devastating impact it was having on my health and my family. I didn't want our two cats to wake up one day and wonder where their next bowl of dry kernels was going to come from because their dad had blogged himself to death. I had to get my priorities straight, and if that meant shutting down SportDork.com, then that's what I would do. But when I informed Mrs. SportDork of my plans, she reminded me of something. I'm a blogger. Blogging's not just what I do - it's who I am. Just as surely as continuing to blog with the intensity of a cheetah tearing into an antelope would lead to my demise, so would walking away from my calling. I, like Urban, was facing the ultimate Catch-22 (or Morton's Fork. Look it up. It's like Morton's knife, but different.) As I considered Mrs. SportDork's words of wisdom, I realized it was true. Abandoning what I was meant to do might alleviate my health issues in the short term and allow my eyebrow to grow back, but those health issues would pale in comparison to the devastation wreaked by the emptiness in my heart. It was then that I knew, much like I imagine Urban did, that I really had no choice. I had to continue to blog - continue to feed the hungry appetites of The SportDork Nation with weekly insights from the world of sports - regardless of the repercussions, because not blogging just wasn't an option.
Now, I understand that Urban is going to take a leave of absence to see if he can get his health together - and maybe figure out how to take a different approach to coaching that will take less of a toll on him. An admirable move, to be sure. The man apparently has been dealing with significant chest pains all year. (Although don’t get me started on that one. I've been experiencing significant chest pains since 1993, my first year at UF. It's called being a Gator fan, Urban. You learn to live with them.) I gave some thought to an indefinite leave of absence as well, since I am in a unique position to understand where Urban is coming from, and it would also be consistent with my motto, which is, "If it's good enough for Urban, it's good enough for The SportDork." But unlike Urban, I don't have a Steve Addazio to take the helm and guide SportDork.com while I'm gone. Sure, Mrs. Sportdork is a dynamic, talented woman with an excellent sense of humor, but I'm not sure you guys are ready for such a dramatic shift in content. Plus, I don't think "BestOnlineShoppingDeals.com" would fit in the header. No, there will be no indefinite leave for me, and no change in approach. I have a different plan - one that will ensure that the weekly postings keep coming in 2010.
I'm shaving off the other eyebrow.
Happy New Year!!
The SportDork
Hey SportDork,
It's your pal, "The Theorem". I meant to touch base with you before you posted your blog this week with my own theory on the Urban Meyer hooplah to see if you wanted to run with it for the blog. As usual, I'm a step too late, even though you were two days late yourself. That's about right.
Anyway, here's my angle on the Urban thing. As you know I am not a Florida fan or really a fan of any college team, so I am fairly unbaised. Although I have expressed (before the loss to Alabama) that the Gators & the Tebow love was getting really annoying. So perhaps that helped me craft this somewhat more skeptical view (at least it could be seen that way in the eyes of Gator fans).
I think Urban is fine. Or maybe he's not. But that part doesn't matter. He was never planning on calling it quits though - and that's the point. In fact, the whole thing was a PR move. See, Urban was certain that the Gators would be in the Championship game all year. Maybe even since last year. Moreover, he has become addicted to hearing about Florida on ESPN and every news radio show constatntly. All that talk, all that hype, has built a brand for Florida - and Meyer. And it continues to and he fully expected that talk and hype to continue into January by being in the Championship game. He planned on using that free publicity to secure his recruits and to start the train of new recruits for future years. That was the master plan.
But uh oh... something happened to that plan. His team didn't show up to the SEC Championship game against Alabama and got stomped in Atlanta in early December. After the initial ESPN and talk radio shock, there has literally been radio silence on the Gators in the national TV & Radio media. No front page newspaper or SI covers. In fact, the whole plan when to shite! Even worse, Alabama & Texas (let's face it, probably two of the Gators biggest recruiting rivals) are in the Championship game and not Florida.
What's a coach to do???
Queue up the PR team. We need to make sure Florida stays in the news. Let's see, coach, you checked into the hospital after the SEC Championship game, right? Perfect - announce you are hanging it up for health reasons. But not yet. Do it right before Bowl and Championship week. Over the holidays, while all the families are watching games together. The story will EXPLODE. Then, before you even give the presser, announce how wonderful U of F is and how 'spirited' the players are and how you just can't leave this place, so you'll take a 'leave of absence' but return to coaching the team maybe even as soon as this fall.
This bombshell will rock college football. People will start talking only about Florida. During every bowl game. At every halftie show. As the lead to every Sportscenter. And right when it matters most for recruits.
And guess who nobody is talking about? Alabama & Texas - the teams in the Championship game. Amazing.
Now what to do abou this pesky 'Leach' fellow...???
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First, I just want to let you know that you have won some type of prize for the longest comment ever posted on SportDork.com. I don't know what the prize is yet, but once I have it figured out, I'll let you know.
And second, I think your theory makes perfect sense - if the point of the whole exercise was to lose recruits:
http://www.fannation.com/si_blogs/from_scrimmage/posts/91801-fallout-from-meyer-drama-hits-florida-gators-recruiting
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Excellent. I love prizes. I used the full 3000 characters the site alotted, that way nobody can break my record. As for your second point, that's why it's only a theory at this point. I think we need to give it a little longer before we can rule it out completely though. You have to agree on one point though: the national media coverage of Florida vs. the combined teams of Texas & Alabama over the past week has been probably 90% to 10% in Florida's favor. Whether it's a devious PR plot or not, there's likely a significant quasi-sports fan population that wouldn't be able to tell you who's playing in the Championship game but COULD tell you the latest on Urban Meyer's health and coaching status.
Happy New Year! Glad you aren't taking a leave of absence from the SportDork...
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Send this to Urban!
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Is Urban Meyer becoming the Brett Favre of college football???
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He would have to retire and come back about four more times . . . .
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