In order of awesomeness, I present the SportDork Nation with the following three Gator-related videos (and no, this is not an April Fools' joke.  I am, in fact, presenting you with a medley of Gator videos in the middle of March Madness.  I have no idea why.):


#1:  Urban Meyer demonstrating how effective his three week leave of absence was in reducing his stress level:





I like the subtitles.  Classes it up.  Makes me feel like I'm watching a French film.


#2:  Erin Andrews scantily clad on the dance floor.  Not sure this one requires any additional explanation.





She has to bust out that gear on the sideline next year.  Only one complaint - it should've been orange and blue.  Ok - two complaints.  She should've finished off the performance with a Gator chomp.


#3:  This is so disturbing it achieves unparalleled levels of awesomeness.  And by 'disturbing', I mean I can't believe I didn't think of it first.





Who wouldn't want to share one of the most important, intimate moments of their life with a Heisman trophy winner?  That marriage has 'success' written all over it - unless he followed this up by asking Tebow to help out with the honeymoon . . . .


#4:  Ok, so maybe there's a fourth.   Actually, let's call it #3A.  That way this week's blog title still works.





Soooo disturbing.  Go Gators.


I was going to completely ignore March Madness, for no other reason than because it was such an obvious topic for this week's entry.  But as The SportDork, I can't bring myself to do it.  How could I let down the legions of readers who are waiting with bated breath to find out who I will pick to win it all so they can run out and bet on the opposing team?  It wouldn't be right to deprive you.  That's why I'm going to go one step further.  I will not only tell you who will win it all on Monday, but I will give you my 'locks' for Saturday's Final Four matchups.  You might as well go ahead and book that two-week vacation in Barbados right now, because after this weekend, you'll have that - and the private jet there and back - paid for. 


Let's start with Duke and West Virginia.  This is seriously like taking candy from a baby.  You don't even need to know anything about basketball to get this game right.  All you need to know is a little about the two programs and the two coaches, and you've got your winner.  It's really as simple as that.  Duke is a storied program that has high academic standards (at least high relative to other programs in the world of NCAA Division I basketball) and a legendary coach who has never allowed his program to be the subject of NCAA violations.  West Virginia hasn't seen the Final Four since 1959, and now finds itself back after more than 50 years courtesy of Bob Huggins, a man who has a gift for turning around troubled programs through his brilliant recruiting.  Huggie Bear is best known for wearing a sweat suit on the sideline during games, getting a DUI in 2004 that was filmed and shown on ESPN ad nauseam, and breaking out in laughter when he hears the term 'admission standards.'  When you take all of these factors into consideration, the pick is fairly obvious:  West Virginia by double digits.  Those Duke guys can run around studying and doing things the 'right' way all they want, but that's not gonna put the ball in the basket.  Only talent will, and Huggie Bear knows how to put talent on the floor.  Sorry Dukies - sports, like life, aren't fair.


The Michigan State-Butler matchup is even easier to pick than the Duke-West Virginia game.  Ignoring the fact that Michigan State has Tom Izzo (which I will address in a moment), you only need to know one thing to pick this game's winner.  Butler is basically playing this game in its back yard, since its campus is only miles from the Final Four site in Indianapolis.  Huge home court advantage, right?  Wrong.  Those kids from that tiny school of four thousand students are going to run out on that floor against Michigan State on Saturday, look at all those people in the stands going crazy over them, and promptly crap themselves.  When they get a load of that scene, their testicles are going to recede so far into their stomach that a licensed physician won't be able to find them.  The game will be into the second half before they get a hold of themselves, and by then it will be way too late.  Michigan State by double digits.


So what about the West Virginia-Michigan State final?  Again, a no brainer.  I know I just got finished espousing the importance of talent in the Final Four, and West Virginia has plenty thanks to Huggie Bear, but there is one thing that can neutralize, and even overcome, great talent, and that's legendary coaching.  I don't mean great coaching - I mean legendary coaching.  With that in mind, how can you possibly bet against Tom Izzo and Michigan State?  The man has Six Final Four appearances in twelve years!!  Sure he's only got one title, but that was against the Gators, which we all know is the equivalent of ten titles!  (You like how I brought it back to the Gators?)  Go ahead and name a few of the guys on those six Final Four teams.  What's that?  You can't?  I know you can't!  That's because Tom Izzo does more with less than any coach in college basketball.  This guy is Houdini!  Tom Izzo could take me, my dad, and my three brother-in-laws to the Final Four.   I don't know if he could get us past Huggie Bear in the Finals, but fortunately for him, he doesn't have to.  He has five guys who are slightly more talented to take care of that.  The SportDork will take Michigan State in a tight one. 



Did I mention I'm a huge fan of Tom Izzo?