I ended my last post with a question: Is it possible, behind all of the self-inflicted chaos, that Antonio Brown was the mastermind behind an elaborate plan that would culminate with him winning a Super Bowl as a member of the New England Patriots? I posed that question nearly two weeks ago, and since then I know that you, The Sport Dork Nation, have been contemplating that very question and wondering when you might hear from me again. But you see, I’ve been waiting. Not for a new story to follow, or for sponsors, or for an offer from ESPN.com. I’ve been waiting for Antonio, because I knew that with the benefit of time, Antonio would answer the question for us.
Don’t get me wrong – I’ve been tempted to write this post many times over the last couple weeks, when it looked like we may have an answer to our question. But I’m a patient man, and I had faith that Antonio would continue to add to his story and ultimately conclusively reveal the answer, so I sat tight and waited for Antonio to do his thing. And he did!
It would have been easy to pull the trigger prematurely. For instance, when he signed with the Patriots and was immediately slapped with a civil suit for sexual assault by his former trainer, which included some fairly disturbing text messages, it looked like we had our answer, as many were ready to proclaim that it was the end of the line. But fortunately for Antonio, we have a couple of pesky concepts in the U.S. known as ‘due process’ and ‘presumption of innocence’, as well as the broader notion that just because you don’t like someone or they may be an asshole, that doesn’t make them guilty. And while we seem to be struggling mightily with these principles as a nation right now, in this case they managed to persevere, and Antonio made his debut with the Patriots in Week 2.
For a moment it looked like Antonio was in the clear, at least until the lengthy conclusion of his civil suit. But if we know one thing about Antonio, it’s that there’s always more. So of course shortly after his successful debut with the Patriots, Sports Illustrated published a story containing allegations from another woman, claiming Antonio acted inappropriately towards her on multiple occasions. The pundits were once again out in full force, predicting Antonio’s imminent demise. But once again, allegations are just that – allegations – so it appeared that that NFL and the Patriots were willing to let the judicial process play out, and until that time Antonio would continue to spend his Sundays catching passes from Tom Brady, cementing New England’s position as prohibitive Super Bowl favorites.
This is where – surprise, surprise, this is an Antonio Brown story – things got interesting. Why? Because shortly after the Sports Illustrated story hit, the woman at the center of the story contacted members of Sports Illustrated to let them know she had received a series of texts from …… wait for it …… Antonio Brown. Apparently Antonio wasn’t texting her to let her know how much he enjoyed the article. And while due process and presumption of innocence are fabulous concepts that make our country the exceptional place it is, they tend to take a hit when you’re sending threatening texts to one of your alleged victims. So the Patriots did what any any organization would do when one of their employees all but announces their guilt by harassing their accuser – via text, no less – and released Antonio in advance of their game with the Jets last weekend.
This is where one would assume that we finally had the answer to our question and could declare with great confidence that Antonio Brown is not, in fact, a genius. But as I mentioned earlier, The Sport Dork is a patient man, so I waited, because after all, this is Antonio Brown, and one should never assume the story is over. And Antonio delivered on Sunday morning with a Twitter outburst that would make our President proud, attacking both Patriots owner Robert Kraft and Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger for their alleged past misdeeds and vowing to never play in the NFL again. The pledge to never play in the NFL again was a particularly interesting threat, since it would appear to hurt no one but Antonio, until you realize that he got a $9 million signing bonus from New England, and according to most experts the Patriots will be on the hook for the full $9 million in spite of their best efforts to avoid paying it.
So if you add up the roughly $30 million of guaranteed money from the Raiders, which they are withholding but he’ll probably get half of in a settlement, plus the $9 million from the Patriots, Antonio Brown could pocket upwards of $24 million from two teams that he played a total of ONE game for, and never has to play another down in the NFL. And folks, we’re right back where we started. Is it possible that Antonio Brown is ………………. a genius?
(It is true, by the way, that I was waiting to see how this story played out, but there is another reason you haven’t heard from me in a couple weeks. The Sport Dork celebrated a birthday last week, and I have been busy enjoying the greatest birthday gift in the history of birthday gifts, courtesy of Mrs. Sport Dork. I give you………………. the motion detected toilet bowl light!! (Order yourself one at https://www.amazon.com/RainBowl-Motion-Sensor-Toilet-Night/dp/B01J7YVZ6W))